Moving Day

Hey just wanted ya'll to know that I will be taking off for awhile. We are moving soon and it looks like we won't be setting up internet or cable until the fall. We need to just cut a few bills for a while.

So I will try to blog now and then. But possibily not for the next few weeks.

Elisa...thanks so much for the offer to help but we really have nothing much to do except move our stuff! No painting or major cleaning. It should be a great move!

Last night I got together with Kendra and we danced. It was wonderful. We had a great talk and an awesome time dancing. That's about all I can say about it except that this finally feels like the very beginning of a new season.

On a totally different note Trinity took a step today!!!! Yes that's right folks my child is amazing. She stands on her own a lot and I think she will be walking soon.

I started writhing this post hours ago and now I am tired. Goodnight.

Trying to keep my mind on everything but my Physical body.

We are moving soon and I can't wait!! The place we are moving to is bright and refreshing. There is more space, which I feel will be good for all of us.

Silver needs his alone time more and more these days. And Trinity needs more space for her wanderings. She loves to explore. She actually listens to the word "No". Today I didn't want her to crawl into the back room and I just said "NO', she smiled and turned the other way. She has done that a few times now.

My sisters new baby (Charlie) is doing well. He was in the hospital for a week after the birth. He wasn't breathing properly (he had a lot of fluid in his lungs). But all seems well now.


that's the little monkey!!

Thanks for the concern and prayers. I saw my doctor and have some tests scheduled. Can you believe that I have to wait until August 19th for one of the tests!! WOW. But I am glad that I am able to get them at all.

Ryan has been home a lot this week and let me tell you it feels great! It's so obvious to me that God intended men and women to raise children. Of course there are times when that is not possible but when it is its amazing. Women have the babies but they don't raise them alone. Raising children (to me) is as much a mans job as a women's. Everyone does there part helping and supporting each other and doing their best to create a strong healthily environment.

Now we all know that is so much harder to do than to say. Im just in a thankful mood. My husband rocks and my kids do to.

i'm not feeling well......not well at all. Same thats been bothering me for months, Got another doctors appointment soon. I hope to start having tests to determine what the heck is wrong. I could use prayer. thanks

lies vs TRUTH

Lies I tend to believe about myself and the truths that crush them.....

1. I am not a good dancer
truth: it doesn't matter whether I am a good dancer or not.....that's not the point

2. I am an unlikeable person
truth: I am hard to get to know but once that happens I am a very cool person(with the Lords help of course)

3. I must be perfect
truth: I will never be perfect and it doesn't matter

4. I am an artist wanna be and my art sucks
truth: I love to be creative and God has gifted me with creativity. Almost all artists are insecure (I hope I'm not insulting any one)

5. I am a failure
truth: Yes I am, everyone fails at things all the time.That is why we need Jesus. That is how I have learned and grown. Sometimes I will fail and sometimes I will succeed. What matters is who I give the glory too...myself or Jesus, and that I need to keep pressing in toward the goal.......

Geesh thats all I can handle for now

Dream land

I had an extremely intense dream last night.

There was this huge guy who was killing people. I saw the dead bodies and helped save a girl from this house where he was killing people.

He ended up coming to our house to poison us all. I thnk he was mad because we saved the girl. He really wanted to kill her. So he had drinks for us all and he had a bottle for Trinity. He sat down with her and started to feed her.

There was NO WAY I was going to let her die like this so I just slapped the bottle away. It was actually quite easy once I decided to do it. Then I took a little sharp knife and stabbed him. Which was also quite easy, considering that he was a big strong scary guy (but very clean cut).

He wouldn't die , but he wasn't exactly fighting back either. So I just kept stabbing him and slicing him. I was trying to hit certain spots...like his heart and lungs. He died.

He had a son who was also there but I said I didn't want to kill him because he wasn't the one who tried to kill us. I let him go.

He came back to kill us. And I did the same thing to him except he was way harder to kill. He saw me pick up the knife and hide it but he said nothing. It was as if he couldn't actually do anything about it. I stabbed him over and over and chopped him up until he was like ground beef.

It was as if all there power was in fear. They could have overtaken us if we let them. But once you decide to stay strong and not give in to the fear killing the enemy is actually quite easy. Because they have no power over you.

Any thoughts? If anyone actually read this whole thing.....

I feel the need to write out Ryan's schedule....I think it will help me to see just how much he is away and if all my whining and loneliness is valid.....

Lets start with
June 1st- gone 14 hours
2nd- gone 14 hours
3rd- 5 hours
4th- 16 hours
5th- 8.5 hours
6th- 8.5 hours

Now this coming week here's what it looks like
7th - 17 hours
8th - 20 hours
9th - 15 hours
10th - 15 hours
11th - 11 hours
12th - 5 hours (but we get to see him this day at kids fest in his play)
13th - 11 hours
14th - 12 hours

Well .....It seems to be as bad as I thought. No wonder I feel like he's never here! I know it sucks for him too. He hates being away.

Mystery Man

I am totally convinced that God is THE coolest being ever!! I just love how he knows us all. He knows what to say, what not to say. When to speak and when to keep quiet. What makes us laugh, or cry.

Today I remembered this moment I shared with the Holy Spirit in a worship service many years ago. While the songs were being played and sung some guy got on the mic and started saying something about how the Holy Spirit just wanted us to have fun and play.

At that moment I was totally swept away. I was chillin with the Holy Spirit. This is what he looked like to me. He was wearing a suit.....but it was kinda sloppy looking (I don't think he even had the jacket on). He was about 45-50 and over weight. He had this gut like a Dad would have..like a beer belly kinda.

It was such a GREAT moment.......we started playing games. I can't recall all the games we played but I know we played Twister!!! HAHAHAHA we just laughed and had an awesome time. It really helped me to start thinking of the Holy Spirit in a whole new way.

Before that I just always got this impression of him being this mysterious cloud or something and just couldn't really connect with him. Now I get the feeling of him being a protector and buddy.

why don't I have a headache???

Today Silver has been driving me nuts. I think that no parent likes to admit when there child has pushed them to the brink of insanity. I am totally there.

Today he has been hitting the kitchen floor and our book shelf with a silver spoon and a plastic measuring cup. This combination made the most awful annoying, and LOUD sound in the world.

It's not like he did it just once. But for about 2 hours. At first I let him do it thinking it would wear off shortly. No such luck. Then when I began to tell him to stop I believe that made him want to do it even more.

Anyway....long day.

To brighten my mood I will now post pictures ..... enjoy.

sleeping????

BOTH of my children are sleeping! I fought and fought with Silver until he just gave in and fell asleep.

We are moving soon and I can't wait. Our new place is really cute, clean and in a great neighborhood. I think we will all love it.

This is going to sound stupid to most of you out there but.... I went out with my kids alone a few times this week. I have only done this maybe twice before. I have always been scared that something terrible would happen. Like Silver would have a meltdown and I wouldn't be able to handle him and Trinity.

But believe it or not Silver was better than usual. We went to the mall, walmart, Safeway and even the park. I feel like a whole new woman. Ryan has been gone a lot with the play and I just couldn't sit in this house any longer.

When we move we plan on having people over at least once a week. It's a much better place for that. More room for kids to play.

Plus the best way to get to know people is having them over. Our place has sucked for that. Silvers room is just off the living room so too much noise wakes him up and the kitchen is no place to hang out. It's set up weird.

on that note...good bye.