There are times in my life when I have thought I was deep. I felt I was more full of expression than any other human on earth. Well I'm not. While I feel that I am somewhat multilayered, at the same time I look at my life and all the things I do to show that I am more than two dimentional...... can't think of much. Actually perhaps that is the problem, I think too much. As much as I detest those people who go through life just doing whatever they want, not really paying much attention to others, manners, protocol, you know that stuff, I also envey them. They don't worry much about failure, making a mistake, hurting someone, because they don't notice. They don't notice because they don't notice when it happens to them. They drift through life like in a dream..... wait .... do these people really exsist or have I just made them up? Perhaps I have fabricated them to make myself feel better. Because if these sort of humans do exsist then I can look at myself and think "well I might have problems but at least I am not like THEM"! I realize that this will not even make sense to most. But it makes sense to me.... I have just learned something about myself, something about "my" perspective of life, and people. I need to see without my eyes. I always talk about living in REALITY and how I notice that every person has there own reality. I long to live and be apart of the Lords reality. What does he see? He see's the heart. I see the outside shell of life. He sees the heart of it, he is the heart of it. Let me be in his heart then.