boo-hoo

5:30am. That it when Trinity got up this morning. Silver was quick to follow at 6:00. Ryan is at work (he started at 5:30am). I hope they both have a good nap today.

This has been a busy but fun Easter weekend. We colored eggs with the kids (Ryan had NEVER colored eggs in his life before), did the drama at church, and moved furniture.

The drama went well on Sunday. It was a tuff one for me. I have to say I wasn't exactly 'comfortable' wearing my wedding dress and dancing in front of all those people. It was a major stretching point for me and as hard as those times can be I love pressing on and pressing through in the Lords strength. Thank you Jesus for blessing us and the church with your anointing. I am also thankful for support shown to us (Zion-the dance group) from the leaders in the church. It's awesome!

Besides dance classes, practices and a few shopping trips to pick up stuff for the drama I have been trapped in my house for about two weeks. As much as I enjoyed relaxing on Monday I was feeling a little crazy and decided to move the kids into our room and us into their room. You see our room is much bigger and better suited for the kids. So all afternoon, after Ryan got home from work, we moved stuff around. The kids slept totally fine in the same room last night. There were no major problems. It feels great. But we still have some organizing to do today.

I do hope you all had a wonderful Easter! God is good!

The Body

I have been blessed by the body of Christ this week. All working together serving God. I love this passage in the bible.


Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body.If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be?As it is, there are many parts, but one body.
The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don't need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don't need you!” On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty,while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other.If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

Easter

This Easter weekend will be busy busy busy for us.
Friday practice for the FIRST time with all the people involved in the drama.
Saturday I work, Ryan works no time for anything else.
Sunday performance at church then Ryan works right after so no major Easter Feast or anything.
Monday Ryan works again.

I am hoping to have time on Friday at some point to at least make cookies or something with the kids.

What is everyone else out there doing for Easter?

Random

here are the random thoughts in my head.

I hope my doctors appointment goes well tomorrow. I hope the doctor takes me seriously and takes the right action towards finding out what's wrong with me.

The Irish stew we had for supper was good.

I have GOT to do something with my hair....It's horrible.

I hope that the music for our drama comes together and sounds good.

I hope I can overcome my fear of the part I am playing in our drama.

I want to feel healthy again.

Trinity is so cute.

Silver is beginning to express his emotions more clearly. He recognizes shapes but not colour.

Ryan is tired.

Our vacation is going to be wonderful.

another one

Another doctors appointment today. I have ALOT of questions to ask.

Next steps

I am going to see my doc this week asap to talk about all the tests I can get to figure out exactly what is going on with my ovary. I am anxious about the next step in this search to find the truth. I almost wish I could just walk into the hospital and say "I'd like my ovary removed please". That would be the greatest. I would have no problem having that done.

I need to get working on sewing a dress so ciao.

Frustrated incorporated

I finally got my results yesterday. So here it is. It seems the blockage is my right ovary. It is causing pressure on my colon. The doc also thinks I may have IBS. They don't know why my ovary is doing this.

That all said let me share something with you that could possibly make me look like a nut case. About 8 months ago I spent many hours on the internet looking at all different possibilities for why I felt sick. I happened upon a fairly recent study done by the American Medical Association that looks at early detection of ovarian cancer. Without getting into details I noticed that I have a lot of the symptoms. I presented my concerns to my first doc and she basically laughed at me......no she actually DID laugh at me. Then I talked to my new doc about it and he at least had a conversation with me about it. He felt that it was just far off because I am in the wrong age bracket!!!!
I said "Is that the only reason you think I don't have it?"
Doc "Well, yes".
Well HELLO that's not a very good reason to totally dismiss the possibility!

O.K here I am now. Feeling like crap still, many tests behind me, and still no one can tell me exactly what is wrong with me. The fact that it has something to do with my ovaries is both frustrating and encouraging. Frustrating because I had suggested that possibility months ago. Encouraging because I feel that I can trust my instincts and I know my body.

So here it is. More tests, more not knowing, more waiting, more praying. PLEASE pray that whatever is up with my right ovary will be made known to the doctors. That I will receive answers and treatment before it's too late. (I know that sounds dramatic but it does happen). Thanks.

Other than all that I feel good because I am still having tests and the answer will come one way or another. Thanks for prayers.

FIRE

My kids are almost over their colds. Silver also has an ear infection that he is taking drugs for. Yesterday morning I woke up with a sore throat and today I have a stuffy nose as well. Yuckie.

I get my test results tomorrow. I can't wait to hear what the doc has to say. I'll post whatever I find out. I am praying that this is the end of the road for tests and I will receive a diagnosis.

God is revealing himself as so POWERFUL and STRONG to me right now. I was reading 1 Kings 18:16-45 a few days ago. I have heard this story many times. But as I read it through myself I was overcome by how awesome God is. When he answers Elijah's prayer with FIRE!

"The god who answers by fire - he is God."

I don't want to really get deep into this right now, mostly because Trinity is screaming at me. Have a fire filled day!

Lost Fathers

This morning I taught my dance classes at the YMCA downtown. I had an unusual amount of kids in my 6-12 year olds class. The past 4 weeks I have had an average of 2-3 kids but today I had 7.

among the 7 were three pre-teen girls. They were really great in class and tried everything I had to teach (not all the kids are so willing to participate). After our class they stayed to watch and help with my creative movement class. Then when that class was finished we all ended up sitting and talking for a few minutes.

In the 15 minutes that we chatted I found out that two of them didn't know their fathers. In fact they had never even met them. They spoke about not wanting to see them or met them, and also how it would be nice if one day their fathers searched for them. You could see that eventhough they were angry and confused as to why their fathers left them they still had an almost stronger desire to one day meet them and know them. More importantly that their fathers would know who their daughters were.

As I was driving home I was thinking about those girls. There were 4 of us sitting there and three of us had parents that were divorced or never married. The other girl's parents lived together for years and got married when she was 5.

Geesh. This world needs healing in so many ways. So why don't I pray more?

On a totally different note

My awesome Daddie (yes that's what I call him) just sent me the most amazing gift.





I am in love with this machine! It's totally amazing. I made some bread yesterday and it turned out awesome. If you have one you know what I'm talking about. This morning one of the first things Ryan said to me was "What are you going to make with your mixer today"? Well I haven't decided yet. Maybe a cake....yum.

Here is a picture of Silver and Haily (Carlie's baby). Have a good day.

Thank You

This has been a really fun and insightful process. Thanks to everyone who left there thoughts.

I just want everyone to know I totally do not judge anyone or what they have said. I love learning this way. Even if I you disagree with what I had to say that's alright with me! That's why I asked the questions. If I wanted to just hear people who thought what I do then I would never have opened it up for discussion here.

I know I have lots of learning to do in this area and my heart is geared in that direction....to learn....to grow.

So be it.

p.s feel free to continue the discussion.

My answers

My answers (I didn't have these ready , I just wrote this out today). This has really helped me to step back and look at myself as a dancer. Places I need improvement, like better communicating what God would have me to, and also just to keep on keepin on. I really appreciate every one of you who shared your thoughts with me. I intend on writing a few more posts on my thoughts about dance. I would love to hear more replies. Don't be afraid. I was in no way offended by anything anyone said. I've heard, or have assumed, most of it before. I always hope to remain teachable. I have also replied to everyone. I will post that tomorrow.
1. Yes (many times)

2. Yes

3. Yes. You see this can be a big issue for dancers, worship leaders, preachers, and congregation alike. Here is my stand point.
We expect the worship team (musicians) to be onstage leading us to worship and speakers to stand in a place were they will be seen and heard by the people. So too should dancers be able to go to the front (not just to 'be seen' for the sake of being seen) , and share whatever they feel God wants to with the people. If I had a prophetic word that I felt God wanted me to share with the people I would go to the front, take the mic, and speak it out. Maybe that word would be for one person, or a small group, or even the entire congregation. But either way I would share the word trust in God and move on. So when I dance, there are times when I feel strongly that God wants to share something specific through my movements. Sometimes it's easy to walk up there and sacrifice my entire body for the Lord other times it's friggin hard. I don't just jump up on stage when ever I get the chance because I'm a stage hog, it's because I know this is part of my calling and darn it I will follow through with the will of the Lord for my life when ever I can.

4.This is a tricky question. Because I have myself have found dancing distracting. But also I have found some worship leaders voices distracting or a drummer who can't quite keep a beat or the songs sometimes sung for worship that I just don't get. But for me it's a matter of knowing that worship isn't about the dance, the voice, or the song. It's about God. If there is a dance I am not connecting with I close my eyes and focus on Him. A voice that I don't dig, look past it to the heart of where the worship leader is going. Or a song I don't jive with, sing anyway to my King and pour love, adoration, intimacy, celebration on him.

5.yes

6. no

7. Yes yes yes. Give me more and more. I'll teach what I know and always take in more and more. I have been checking out some dance conferences that are held all over the world. I would love to go to one someday.

8. To watch I have received from both forms. I however love choreography. To me it can be like a well written song, with a great melody and true meaning. Or a painted masterpiece that someone has put hours and hours of time and energy into. Just the sacrifice of the time it takes to produce those things is awesome (although I know that sometimes those things can come quickly and be just as powerful and amazing).

I use to only be able to dance choreography . I had NO freedom to dance alone and I couldn't just make it up. But over the years I have received major freedom in this area. I am one of those people who says "If I can do it, so can you!".

Questions

Her are a few questions about dance that I would love feed back on. Don't be afraid to answer anyway you want. If you totally don't like for 'get' dance in worship then just say that. I just want honest answers. I will post my thoughts on these questions in a few days.

Feel free to answer one or more of the questions. Thanks!

1. Have you ever been moved (in a good way) by a dance done in church?

2. Have you been encouraged to worship by seeing dancers worship?

3. Do you think dancers have a place on the stage in a worship service?

4. When dancers worship on the stage during corporate worship do you find it distracting in a negative way? If so why?

5. Would you like to see more dance (as a form of worship) done in your church?

6. Would you like to see less dance done?

7. Do you feel you would benefit from a biblically based teaching on dance and extravagant worship?

8. In the past have you gotten more out of a choreographed dance or free/spontaneous dance?