must remember

I was probably about 5 or 6. I remember looking up and seeing my fathers working hands holding the Hymnal so that I could see the words. I remember his low voice singing along with all the others. This is a happy memory for me. It was a good feeling to be all together as a family in the same place doing something that brought us into unity with each other. It wouldn't be until almost 20 years later that I even began to understand what worship meant to me and who I should give my worship to.

Reflecting on who I am now and where I have been has taken me through moments of great joy and deep sorrow. There is a whole section of time (3 or 4 years) that I rarely talk about. I learned a great deal in those years and was stretched and mentored but there are things I saw in myself and others that have effected me deeply. It was not always a healthy situation. I saw too many people hurt. I don't blame anyone or hold hatred toward anyone. I am just wiser, quieter and thankful to God for that time. I would not be the same without it.

I believe in being transparent which to me doesn't mean spilling my heart out to anyone who will hear it. Rather with wisdom and discernment be ready to share me, my heart and soul.

This post is sort of all over the place. I guess I just feel a bit all over the place.