Church

Went to church today....twice. Morning and evening. Silver and Trinity both had long naps this afternoon so we decided to go to the evening service.

I danced both services as well. I used to hear God's voice speaking pretty clearly everytime I danced in a service. I learned discernment slowly and painfully over the course of my 3 years spent in Kamloops. I still feel pretty in'tune with Jesus while dancing. Just not like before.

Today I was thinking a lot about the people. I have to say that I felt like there was a wall between myself (the dance) and the people.Part of the was me. I'm just not as much of a risk taker anymore. I used to be all about breaking my boxes open and always trying new things. Wanting desperately to touch Jesus, see a new side of him and then represent that to the body.

I've also been thinking about what part of the body I am. I mean as if the church was an actual body. I have always kind of thought.....feet. Because of the dancing thing and all. But I just realized that's not it. Feet are very important don't get me wrong. They help us get around, move (like preachers and missionary's).

Dance is not (to me) about moving from point a to point b. No sir. It's different. Perhaps I would represent the muscle system. They are all over your whole body and are what cause us to move at all. I don't know, but I feel in some small way I need to figure out what 'part' I am both metaphorically and realistically.

I don't like this block I am feeling. Then again I have longed for it. Even asked God for it. To teach me and help me to mature in my gifting. I feel that inorder to do that and fulfill part of my calling I need to impart more to others. To teach those who would be hungry to learn. I love to teach.