A murderer sat behind me
In grade 6 or 7, I can't quite remember, a new kid came to our school. His name was Breaden. He was big for his age and kinda tuff looking. It didn't take me long to figure out he was not the kind of guy I wanted to be friends with. He would make strange comments and acted so tuff, which he was! He was the first boy I remember hearing sexual comments from. He ended up going to the same highschool as me. I remember a few times him making some remarks to me and how they shook me up. He actually lived about 5 blocks from my house all through school. A friend of mine told me that Breaden and a few of his friends once wrote up a plan with diagrams of how they were going to break into my house while we were home and do nasty things. Scary!
He died in prison a few days ago. He beat two men to death on separate occasions in 1995. He was sentenced to life in prison and was said to be a 'serial killer in the making.'
Let me also share this part of the story with you. The same year he went to prison I was traveling with Lifeforce (a Christian theatre company). While in Fredericton I came upon a man who had a ministry to prisoners. He has written some books and I took a few to give away. My first thought was that I should mail them to Breaden. From that day until just a few weeks ago a couple times a year I have that same thought. How I should write him a letter or just something. I never did. I know that God was asking me to and I never did. CRAP. I can hardly believe I did it again.
The year I lost 3 grandparents I felt I needed to write them and tell them how much I appreciated them. How even though I had not spent much time with them they meant a lot to me. They were all awesome Godly people and I felt their prayers in my life. I wrote the letters and they sat there. Day after day, month after month until it was to late. I lost all three in a mater of a few months. It was horrible. I missed my chance. Gone. I learned something about listening to God. That's why I can hardly believe I did it again. I knew God was asking me to contact Breaden. God wanted to use me and I heard but didn't listen.
Lord teach me to not only hear you but to listen and take action when you wish.
He died in prison a few days ago. He beat two men to death on separate occasions in 1995. He was sentenced to life in prison and was said to be a 'serial killer in the making.'
Let me also share this part of the story with you. The same year he went to prison I was traveling with Lifeforce (a Christian theatre company). While in Fredericton I came upon a man who had a ministry to prisoners. He has written some books and I took a few to give away. My first thought was that I should mail them to Breaden. From that day until just a few weeks ago a couple times a year I have that same thought. How I should write him a letter or just something. I never did. I know that God was asking me to and I never did. CRAP. I can hardly believe I did it again.
The year I lost 3 grandparents I felt I needed to write them and tell them how much I appreciated them. How even though I had not spent much time with them they meant a lot to me. They were all awesome Godly people and I felt their prayers in my life. I wrote the letters and they sat there. Day after day, month after month until it was to late. I lost all three in a mater of a few months. It was horrible. I missed my chance. Gone. I learned something about listening to God. That's why I can hardly believe I did it again. I knew God was asking me to contact Breaden. God wanted to use me and I heard but didn't listen.
Lord teach me to not only hear you but to listen and take action when you wish.
4 Comments:
Wow Alexandra! Your story gave me chills. I've had a few of those moments too where I knew I should have said something or did something because you feel the Holy Spirit promting, but then you don't and the moment passes you by. Its a good reminder to just do it, or say it, or send it when the moment is right there. Sometimes I wonder, is this me or is it God?, but if its something that is uplifting, or poiting outhers to Christ, I've decided I might as well take that step of faith and believe that God will bless it.
Thanks for the reminder!
Hey Alexandra,
I am dealing with this currently in this season of life. I tend to be timid and silent at times in which I have to be more proactive and obedient. As a stepping stone to being more proactive and obedient, whenever there is an opportunity, I will step out and speak to people if there is something on my heart. I find that God delights in our risk-taking abilities and that we need to do this in order to learn and experience. Thank you for reminding me. Bless ya!
wow what a crazy story,...I have had some wierd stuff happen over this past week sounds so similar,...first one was there was this guy that i was taking acting classes with,..he commited suicide,...though i didn't know him too well it was just so wierd cuz he used to drive me home all the time after class,...the second one which is similar to yours was the fact that my cousin died this week of an anurism,..and when i was in Ontario i really felt like i should visit him and i didn't.....i felt like crap.....
Jen
wow. that's heavy, It gave me shivers too. I don't even know how to respond. I can't tell you how many times I've dismissed that nag in my spirit to do something. I don't know why it's so hard to learn to just act on it the first time. It usually never goes away. I have unwritten cards and letters from YEARS ago. Thanks for posting that. I forget that obedience can sometimes be the simplest thing, so simple that I decide it's too simple to be effective and not do but it's actually the very thing God will use. It might be hard to recieve this now, but you were always an example to me of hard core sacrificial giving of yourself in obedience. I have been humbled and awed many times seeing you give yourself to God and man with nothing held back. You're such an inspiration Alexandra.
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