Life has been surreal latley. Ryan has been away more than ever and yet I haven't been going crazy. Don't get me wrong I've been busy and over whelmed at times, but not crazy.
I've had this strange peace about me these last few weeks. I just don't understand it. I suppose it has somthing to do with maturity and God's grace. I've stopped feeling sorry for myself. I've been trying to see things from Ryans point of view. He may not be home alot but he is out working his a** off.
About my 'pain' ...it's still there. Not certain what it is yet but it doesn't seem to be anything that's going to kill me. I'm going to have some blood work done. That might tell us something. It's really scarey to feel ill and not know what it is. You just expect the doctor to tell you "Well you have.......this or that", but they don't alway know. Its a guessing game with them sometimes too. Scarey.......
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