ahhhh it was good to get to church! I love to worship. but i did really have to press in and try hard to focus. its been awhile since i worshiped in a corporate setting. i loved it. next sunday night i will not bring trinity so it might be a little easier.

I was reminded of some old hurts that i have experienced in the past, and just some stupid crap that ryan and i had to go through. its funny because as hurt as i was and as wierd as some situations where im totally fine. really...... being hurt by other humans sucks but i really feel like it is always important to deal with stuff like that before it overtakes you. its just not worth it. thinking again about hurts that i havent thought about in a very long time made me realise how free i am from it all. how really whole i feel on a deep level. dont get me wrong i dont think ive totally arrived and i am totally a complete person (who is really?) but I just realised how good i feel about where i am in my growth as a person. Ive been through some crap and am a much better person for it. god always knows what hes doing.....