LONGGGGGGGG DAYSSSSSSSSSSS........... Ryan is gone again for another long day (just like yesterday). Silver is feeling it I can tell. He has been very upset. I've been trying to spend as much time with him as possible but yesterday Trinity was up all afternoon and evening. Everytime I tried to put her down she cried. So poor Silver was left to do his own thing.

My brain is mush... it seems I can only think of sleep, food, and my kids. Im looking forward to my root canal on thursday because it means I will be getting out of the house.

oh hi...... my sister and her husband are here. They are THE BEST cooks in the world! They are making really good stuff. It's been great because I am learning lots.

Oh yippie Ryan is finally home so I can actually go and put some makeup on and dry my hair...

Things are really looking up. We are getting more money from Ryans student loan and I just paid a bunch of bills. It's nice to know that nothing will be cut off :)

I am THE worst backseat driver in the world.....this has been a fact for years (but usually only with Ryan). ANyway today I preety much stoped. I just had this crazy revelation.... 'Who care how Ryan drives, who cares when he switches lanes, or what road he takes. We always get where we are going.' That might sound stupid to most of you but for me its a big step. Thats all for now.....

Ryan is gone today for 13 hours. He has school then work. So I will get to see him at midnight! CRAPPY! So today is a very long day for me. My sister was suppose to come this week but instead they will be arriving sunday or monday. I can't wait. It's something to look forward to.

Yvonne I read that a bunch of people are taking a class at masterworks. I think I will take it too. It sounds like a good way to get out, learn something and meet people. Trinity is waking up and Silver is in his crib kind yelling at me a little so I should go.

The two minutes I just had writing this where probably my only down time today until Silver goes to bed tonight........

Here's the situation.....we are soooo blessed! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! Yvonne and Jason have totally blessed us. Everything you have done for us is really helping! THANK YOU! So everyone out there bless them because they rock!

We are all feeling much better today. We had a prayer time on sunday night that was really great. I gave my stress and worry to the Lord and felt him take it. It's amazing how we can forget that God knows better than us how to do things. For some reason I always think I can handle life all by myself. YA right! When will I learn?

Ryans loan is going to be reassessed over the next few weeks. So hopefully we will be getting more money. It will take awhile though. Life goes on..

Here's the situation....... we are in trouble, we have about 1200 in bills to pay by the end of the month. Ryan (as of right now) os only getting a very small amount for his student loan (not even enough to cover his tuition). He is also only working about 10 hours a week, I am getting 60 bucks a week for parental leave and we dont have alot of food. I cried today for about an hour. I can't believe how stressed out I am. All I can do is try to figure out what we did wrong...........why are we in this situation.

Too add to all that stress, Ryan is sick...........he's been throwing-up for two days now. Silver still has a cold and now diarea. I am extremely worn out from the past two days. I haven't felt this stressed and panicy EVER. I know I shouldn't be stressed or worried. God will take care of us and give us only what we can handle and we will come out of this MUCH stronger and wiser (what's better than that)! But today in my weakened physical state it all seems quite overwhelming. I really do need prayer and some encourging words would do me well too.....thanks.

This is a poem/song that I wrote about 6 months ago. Connie this is the one I was talking about. It's not really wordy or anything just some simple observations about a girl. I kinda hear a punky sound for the music....anyway

Mega Star

You wanna be
you think you are
your not gonna be
a Mega Star

Your called to more
It seems like less
Solid as stone
but your still a mess

You'll never be right
You'll forever be wrong
until you release
that perect song

Waiting to hear
wanting to see
in the meantime
do you notice me?

living off others
sucking them dry
what have you left?
no tears to cry

Push me too far
your grip is so tight
weak and struggling
I put up a good fight

Released from the trap
my soul is free
no longer, 'friend'
will you haunt me

Too busy, so blind
stuck in your own mind.

I just added a new link to my blog. It is the broken walls link. My brother inlaw (Kris) is in the band. Some of you from winnipeg might remember them. They have come to the church before. Also my sister's drama group from Thunder Bay, Silent Warrior. They have also come to the vineyard. I hope to see them here again soon. They have a bunch of new dramas and costumes. They are awesome! There website is not finnished yet, but there are a few things up. So check them out if you like.

I just finnished watching Cupid. Is anyone else watching that show? Anyway, it was really touching tonight. Lisa (the girl trying to find a husband) has fallen in love with one of the guys. The kicker is that she doesn't chose in the end. People call in and vote for who they want her to marry. Its kinda funny, because she has only really been on like 5 dates with each guy. And she might be married to one of them next week! crazy. ANYWAY... I m totally addicted to so many shows. "For love or money" which had a really good ending....... and SURVIVOR (my favorite show of all time) starts up next week! YIPPIE...... So enough about television...

Ryan is back at school which leaves me home with the kids. Its been good so far (eventhough Silver has been a little NUTS the past ew days). But I will survive. The public health nurse came over today to tell me about all the programs in the area. MAN there is alot of really great stuff for parents. I am going to join the mommyexercise program. Im excited about that. Gotta run Trinity is hungry......I think I'll try a bottle.

finding time to blog has become a little more difficult. eventhough Trinity is a great baby our days are still much busier. On saturday we went out to the worship retreat (about and hour and 45 minute drive). The drive there seemed to take forever. I was worn out by the time we got there. It was a good day though.........even though one of us had to chase Silver around the whole day. And because Silver will not fall esleep anywhere but his own crib we had to get home in time for him to get to bed. He has NO nap either. So in the car on the way home he screamed for about 20 minutes then fell esleep, but when Ryan and I switched places (as ryan was falling esleep) Silver woke up and SCREAMED for 45 minutes then stared out the window the rest of the way home. I almost LOST my mind. I will never again take a long car trip with Silver unless it is at night when he is so tired he HAS to sleep. I am still a little tense today.......listening to your child scream for 45 minutes is enough to make anyone CRAZY! We all crashed out when we got home. Speaking of crashing out i gotta get to bed. good night!

HEY! Its been awhile hasen't it? Well our roof leaked AGAIN so we have had to move Silvers stuff into the room with the computer and we moved our bed into the laundry room. Our landlord has gotten the roof replaced (after we called the health department!) Its been a crazy week because of the roof, but other than that we are doing awesome! We have been so thankful to have our meals made for us this week. Everything has been killer yummie! It really does help alot to not have to think about making supper. (Yvonne...seriously those meatballs where sooooo good! WOW!)

Trinity is doing so well. What an awesome little girl. Well gotta run......