it ain't over till it's over

Just when I'm doing fine, feeling not bad, I start to feel the pain again. CRAP! Still no word on what the heck is up with me. I have a new doctor who seems to be a little more interested than the last one so that's a good thing. I can't wait until my test. Next week. I have been waiting for almost 2 months now.

I had about a month where I was totally freaked out about this and almost lost it. But I came to the understanding that the doctors can't just cut me open and tell me what's wrong and fix it. Sometimes it's a long painful, process. I can't really explain how it feels to know that something is wrong with you but you don't know what. Maybe it's something that will kill you unless they find it early. It's a little too late for that now (if it is something big).

Or maybe it's something that can be fixed with a pill or an operation. The thing is I don't know, no one does. That's the scary part.

I continue to pray pray pray pray.