Sick Kids

These past few weeks have been so draining. It really hit me today. It all started with our quick trip to Thunder Bay (which was great but tiring), then we were all worn out, then chicken pox started. Trinity is still getting more spots. I am hoping today will be her last day getting pox. Silver is covered with little scabs (which must be itchy and painful).

I just feel so tired. Ryan starts school soon. I start teaching classes soon. We are just in a little transition time. Too tired to think

Chicken pox are a terrible thing. To watch little Silver suffer is so draining...not to mention the fact that he was up until 3:30am last night. I lost my mind a few times and so did Ryan. Trinity was also pretty restless all night. It was terrible.

I will post a picture of silver so you can see how awful it is.

I went to a prayer meeting last night. It was so good to intercede again. I found it actually quite simple to enter in. God has been speaking to me very clearly on prayer so I was already very stirred.

I realized something about myself lastnight. I have a hard time being lead (in worship) to sing or think on God's holiness. That is one area I just don't really get or know of God yet. I mean I KNOW he's HOLY .......but I want more than that. A deeper understand would be good. That way when songs of holiness are sung or it is spoken of I could partake a little more.

Anywho, my pain persists. More tests to come. Jesus heal me.

Here come the Pox

SIlver is covered with chicken pox. Last night was horrible. Altogether I think I got about 3 or 4 hours sleep. I kept putting lotion on him, and gave him an oatmeal bath. I finally turned on the Barney movie and we watched it 3 times. He fell esleep a few times while watching.

Today I am crazy tired. Trinity has a fever so I assume she will be breaking out soon too. I guess that when they were sick just after we got home from Thunder Bay it was just because of the long drives and busy weekend.

It will be great when this is over.

Book Worm

I still can't get enough of reading these days. My mother in law (awesome lady) gave me many books and I just can't stop reading them all. Right now one I am reading is "Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire". I think it's an older book. I seem to remember people talking about it years ago. Well anyway I am just reading it now.

It's really been great. So far it's all about prayer. The power of prayer and a humble heart. I love it. It's exactly what I need. I have got to humble myself and pray. Cry out to God for everything. This is very good for me. I like to do things on my own, by myself, with no help....because I don't need any help...... YA RIGHT!

That's why I have tried many times over the past 2 years to accomplish things and have ended up accomplishing practically nothing. Except showing people that I am lazy and un trust worthly. I press on...

Home sweet home

AHHHHHHHHHHHH. Back from Thunder Bay. It was a good trip. We were there for just enough time. The kids were exhausted and so were we. It was great to get home last night. We were so determined to get home that we made the trip in about 6 and a half hours!! It usually takes about 8 hours. We only made one stop and just kept truckin.

The only crap part is that my kids were exposed to the chicken pox. They say it takes a week or so to start breaking out in spots. They both already have diarrhea so I think it will be a crazy few weeks. I will be glad when it's all over.

I have been reading four different books over the past few weeks. All written by Jim Cymbala. They have really been challenging me and teaching me a lot. I am feeling much more focused on a day to day basis. Trying to get things done TODAY in stead of TOMORROW.

We had Trinity dedicated in Thunder Bay by Ken Parker. He is so awesome and we just couldn't imagine having anyone else dedicate her. It was amazing. He spoke some really cool stuff over her. I will share it some other time.....maybe.

Lots to do....

it ain't over till it's over

Just when I'm doing fine, feeling not bad, I start to feel the pain again. CRAP! Still no word on what the heck is up with me. I have a new doctor who seems to be a little more interested than the last one so that's a good thing. I can't wait until my test. Next week. I have been waiting for almost 2 months now.

I had about a month where I was totally freaked out about this and almost lost it. But I came to the understanding that the doctors can't just cut me open and tell me what's wrong and fix it. Sometimes it's a long painful, process. I can't really explain how it feels to know that something is wrong with you but you don't know what. Maybe it's something that will kill you unless they find it early. It's a little too late for that now (if it is something big).

Or maybe it's something that can be fixed with a pill or an operation. The thing is I don't know, no one does. That's the scary part.

I continue to pray pray pray pray.

Tales of the CROSS

When I was 21......that's when I made my choice. My choice to begin my journey with Jesus. Within 2 weeks I was on a traveling ministry team. It was completely insane.

I just pulled out my bible from that first year. It was actually a bible that one of my sister gave to me in 1993. But I had barely looked at it until I made that choice.

It became so ALIVE to me. The words were seriously on FIRE. Jesus spoke to me everyday so clearly. I was a huge sponge that just craved anything JESUS. I could have nothing else. I didn't want to watch tv. Or read books that had nothing to do with Jesus. I could hardly have a conversation with anyone unless we were speaking of the Lord. What an incredible time that was.

The people I was surrounded by had all been living for Jesus different lengths of time. Some 5 years, some thier whole lives. When some of them would speak about how they used to drink or smoke or do drugs, and how God brought them out of that it would be such a distant thing for them. For me it was as close as 3 weeks before. It was such a surreal experience then and even now when I think back.

I have been reflecting on my history with God. It's been amazing. So incredibly intense at times, and sickly dry at others. I have appreciated every moment. I have not enjoyed every moment nor loved walking through some of the things I have, but how incredible is GOD! He took me.....me of all people. An angry, hurting, lonely, bitter, proud mess of a girl and hid me under his wing. He created me to dance, sing, worship, press on, to WIN....to really WIN!

I often think of the first thing I will do or ask when I get to heaven. It always changes according to my mood or life experience that I am walking through. Today all I want to do it walk up to Jesus and lay my head slowly and peacefully upon his chest and just listen to him breathe.

short and sweet

I'm reading a good book. Working monday to thursday nights. Spending time trying to clean and organize something that never seems to be completed. And just chillin, enjoying this great summer weather while we have it.

We will be heading to Thunder Bay to visit my family soon. That's always an interesting adventure.......