I found out that one of my sisters (erinn) might be here when the baby comes. She might be going to Folklorama with her family. That wold be great! It would be nice to have someone from my family here at the time. Still so much to do before the little monkey comes out.

Holy smokes...I just looked in a full length mirror! HELLO! Im huge. HAHAHAHAHAHA it actually looks really funny. Oh Lord please let this baby be a little smaller than Silver was! A cute little 6 pounder like Yvonne's would be great!

O.K is anyone else watching Canadian Idol? Well Canada has voted and picked the top 11. Holy smokes what an interesting group of people have been choosen! Some of them (I feel) are terrible. But in a way I think its cool that Canada has choosen a very different group of people than the US would have. I am so sucked into all the reality shows that are on right now. Ive even been watching paradise hotel! HELLO! help

My sister and her husband are doing well. She had some minor pain this weekend and they are very sad, but all around they are doing well.

well im getting bigger and bigger....... sleep is so hard. But I am thankful that I do get some rest. I know that soon enough there will be many sleepless nights. Silver has been a good little guy these past few days. We just finnished a major play time. He loves to be thrown around and tickeled ALOT. It will be great to be able to play with him without this huge tummy.

We went to the ballet at the park on friday night. It was so awesome. They only had one modern piece but it was amazing. I can hardly wait to join a class and get my groove on.

My sister miscarried today.......... who knows why these things happen, they just do. But I do look forward to meeting this little baby in heaven. Thank you to all who prayed for her and the babies well being. They are going to continue trying to get pregnant. I do hope that it happens for them again.

My sister is pregnant! YIPPIE! I realise that none of you understand how awesome this is, but it is awesome. She happens to have an inoperable brain tumour. Crazy but true. She takes some major meds for it and has had to stop taking the meds because of the pregnancy. PLEASE pray for her that the tumour will not increase but descrease. Its going to be a somewhat scarey 9 months but it is also very cool. She only had a small chance of even getting pregnant so that in itself is very much a miracle. Even now (if you would) say a prayer for her and the baby that all will be well. Thanks a bunch.

For some reason I feel like talking about what I have been eating the past week. Lets just say CRAP. Cheap frozen burgers, kraft dinner (which I normally won't touch), eggs (cheap and always available), and water. Yummie eh. Ive been a bit lazy when it comes to cooking. But I feel like crap so I guess I will get back into the grove of cooking.

So I can't think of anything more exciting to do on a lazy sunday than steam clean our carpets! Actually I really enjoy it (is that sick or what). Because the roof leaked again we had to clean the carpets. At least our lanlord is paying for it this time.

So ya have any of you noticed that I really have NOTHING of interest to say these last few months. It's all work and baby stuff......and now that I am done work its all baby stuff. Get this, so you know how I have been complaning my entire pregnancy about how much I dislike being pregnant? Ya well two days ago I had this crazy feeling that has not left me yet (thank the Lord), I am actually enjoying myself. I can't sleep much, breath very well, move much, and I basically wear one pair of pants everyday. But I just can't help it...I feel so good. I am crazy excited about this baby. Im bustin to meet the little thing, and to see how Silver reacts to it. It will be so nice to go through my last 3 or 4 weeks with this feeling. So I am hoping it lasts. I think it will.

our roof leaked again! I am so not happy about this. Ryan has called our lanlord and had to insist that he come over to fix it TODAY! It leaks in Silvers room and when he can't sleep in there he sleeps with us and it sucks. Also he can't have a nap because trying to get him to sleep on our bed is terrible. Anyway long story short its going to be a very long weekend. Well I have a long day ahead of me with lots of cleaning and we will have to clean the carpets AGAIN!

If anyone is interested I am 36 weeks pregnant now! Yippie.......

WOW I still can't believe that Yvonne had her little girl! A whole week early! Im so happy for them......YIPPIE!

I many ways I am totally jelous and I have had so many dreams that our baby has come too. I actually had a whole dream that I gave birth, it was crazy. I just wanted to say how happy I am for the Parks! I know everyone else is really happy for them too!

When I read Yvonne's blog this morning it was like the world stoped. I am still in a strange state. I am thinking about Derek and Joy (I still have never met them), to not have the joys of experiencing River on this earth....... it actually hurts to think of. Lord may your presents be heavy on them.

I am sooooo done work! YIPPIE! AHHHHHHHHHHH...... I can't explain how good it feels to not have to think about working for a very long time. I actually LOVE working and my job rocks, but my mind is just totally on other things right now. I am trying to organize our small living space. We really need to organize.I have already gone through all the baby boxes we have and that feels great to be done. So for the next two weeks or so it will be all about cleaning and organizing.

On a totally different note....Rachel I was very much moved by your blog about the lady you work with and how you and Jesus have effected her life. I really love the way Rachel expresses herself with her blog. I always feel lifted, in a way, after reading what she has written on any given day. It's awesome that even on her worst days she always seems to bring it down to it all being about Jesus and how much she just wants to do his will. Its inspiring. Rachel your great. You express your deepest feelings and struggles without being vulgur, or it being a cry for help. I hope that all made sence.

I gotta lay my head down for a while...yawn............

O.K so what where we thinking when we desided to have kids so close together in age? Hummmmmmmmm... OH YA we weren't! In so many ways I am happy that we are having our kids now and getting it all over with (the pregnancy thing and all), but also it is really beginning to hit us smack in the face how challenging it's going to be. Ryan has just finnished putting his school schedule together and it freaks me out a bit! He will be gone so much at school and then also work AND not to mention the time spent doing homework. WOW we both have a really big job ahead of us. I worry a little for our future. In a good way. We both understand that our marriage requires work (as does every marriage), and to raise our children will take alot of energy. I have no idea how people manage to keep "it" altogether without a personal relationship with Jesus???? I would never be able to do it without him. Our baby will only be a few weeks old when Ryan heads back to school. Holy crap! So I will have Silver (how will still be well under 2) and a new born baby! Plus I will just be recovering from the whole birthing thing. Yvonne I totally understand when you talked about how you have to start working so soon after the baby is born. It's scarey isn't it?

To say the least I have been a little stressed latley. We still don't know exactly what is wrong with my mothers heart. My sister told me that it is often much more difficult to diagnose heart desease in women. Also with all of her other health issues it's quite a task for them to find out the exact problem. I know that God is totally in control and I rest in that (when I'm not stressing).

God totally knew what he was doing when he invented nap time. To a parent it can truely be amazing. napping so well lately. I have been trying to keep a better schedule with him and its working. If there is one thing kids seem to love its a clear schedule. I'm not talking about controlling Silvers every move but just guiding him through the day. It really works great, and I think it's really going to help when the baby comes. So much will be totally out of wack when the baby first comes I am really going to focus on keeping a steady schedule with Silver. That way I will be sure to make time to spend just with him everyday.

My last week of work! Yippie!!!! I work everyday except friday. I have short shifts every evening (which is fine with me). But I will be very glad when this week is over.

So the doctors still don't know exactly what is wrong with my mother. She has a few more tests to go through. It's definately her heart they just don't know the cause. We should all find out this comming week. She is NOT handling it well at all. She has always been so afraid of aging. It drives me nuts. I suppose because I just don't understand. I have always loved getting older, gaining experience, wisdom, having fun just being an adult. I guess in that way I will just never understand my mother.

For a while we didn't know what we where going to do with Silver when the labouring starts, but HIP HIP HORRAY we have worked it out. The original plan was to have my mother come but of course that is not going to happen. SO Ryan's mommie is comming! I am so excited. She is great and there is nothing like having a mommie here. It will be great! Also now we can relax and just wait for the baby. It was pretty stressful not knowing what we where going to do. This is one of those situations where we really notice that we have no family here. But I still wouldn't want to live anywhere else.

AHHHHHHHH my head is so clear right now, well maybe not exactlly CLEAR but I do feel somewhat refreshed. Ryan has been home this afternoon and we just all woke up from a nap. So I said that I would write a list of all the good and yummie things in my life that bless me. So here goes

My in-laws (they are nothing but a blessing),
watching Silver grow and learn (today I found out that he knows what eyes are and he can point them out),
friends (the few that I have are awesome),
TOYS! I just love them,
Jesus (of course, what a guy),
that we are able to have children, (I just can't wait to met this one),
milk (Ryan and I drink a 4 liter jug in two days no problem),
Thunder storms (one of the most beautiful things on earth to watch),
That seem to be all I have time for I gotta run... see ya

Alright then....Ive totally lost it. Today is all about stressing out , crying, freaking, and a million other things. I have NO patience for anything today. It's the worst day so far. Silver is in to everything. I don't have the energy to really play with him like I used to. I want to scream every second. I know he is also frustrated. Unfortunatly he is just too young to understand what is happening. He doesn't even notice my huge gut. My tooth (the one I need a root canal on) has been hurting (that is stressing me out more than anything), my mother has gone in to the hospital (for the 3rd time in two weeks) there is something wrong with her heart but they don't know exactly what it is, Ryan has been working so much we hardly see each other.

So in the next week or so we might have to jump in the car and head to Thunder Bay to see my mother before she has an operation (if she needs one). I might have to get my root canal soon which means we will have to pay full price (400 bucks), and of course we don't have that money. I have been feeling a little sick in my stomach, I totally need a massage............please forgive me for all my complaining, it's just the state I am in. I gotta snap out of this, my next blog I will write all the things I am happy about and thankful for and blessed by. I would do it now but I am exhausted.....